A Day in the Life

Stuck in a rut

Hi all, it’s been a while I know. I only planned to miss one week of writing because finals were approaching. One week turned into two, then I had to pack up my entire life and move back home to Jersey. Then the next week came and I was ‘too tired’ to write, the next week I started a new draft but never finished it and here we are now. I’m glad I’m back though, every week I didn’t share a new post felt like I was failing myself… I had set out to do something and here I was neglecting that responsibility. I looked at my views a few days ago and I saw that despite being absent for a month people were still looking at my content. Isn’t that crazy… if you are one of those people I want to thank you because you’re the reason I came back today. All it took was seeing that I wasn’t just failing myself, there were people out there who were at least mildly curious about what I had to say, so why not flood their timelines! I’m all about giving the people what they want.

Don’t we all find ourselves in a rut every once in a while? You wake up one day with an inspired idea, or maybe you’ve been planning to do something differently for a while now. Maybe a new diet plan, writing a blog or a new exercise regimen. You have it completely thought out and then you do it. A few days go by and you feel great, you’re full of passion, you have a solid plan and you’re enjoying yourself. A couple more days go by, then a few weeks pass and maybe if you have more self-control than I do, a few months. You’re doing great, you’re powerful, you’ve got this! Then one day you say it’s okay to skip your new routine, you could use a little more sleep today. Then maybe you come back the next time or maybe you don’t. You find yourself getting used to slipping, you’ll get to it next time, and then the next time, until you wake up one day three months later and you forget that you ever used to get up at 6:30 am to go running.

If you haven’t, I’ve definitely been there more times than I can count. It seems that with every new exercise plan I start or devotional plan there are always a bunch of reasons why it’s okay for me to skip one day. The snowball effect takes place and I’m looking back months later wondering how I got to that point. The natural course of things for me is to offer you a well thought out solution that has worked for me in the past. This time, unfortunately, we won’t stick with that pattern because first of all patterns are boring and second of all I don’t have an answer. So I’m going to throw it out to all of you. What do you do when you’re stuck in a rut?

The problem I face is that a lot of times I don’t even realize I’ve fallen off the wagon until I’m at that point months later when I have abandoned my amazing new routine. I’m still not sure how I get from “I’ll skip this one day” to “When was the last time I ran???”. I don’t know if there’s a magic formula to becoming aware of the period in between but if there is, I’d love to hear it. People talk about writer’s block but I’m not sure that’s what it is… I have the desire to fulfill my responsibilities but for some reason, I just can’t actualize them. How does it get to that point? I’m a philosophy student so questions like this immediately turn my mind to the problem of free will. But then I contradict myself and I can’t find the answers I want. Why can’t we do the things that we want to do? Does that mean that we even want them in the first place?

The philosophical question excites me but I could spend a long time talking about that. Rather than keep you here all day I’m going to tell you what I do when I find myself with this problem. I’ve met a lot of wise people and a long time ago while talking to my priest about how I found myself in this rut when I first started studying the Bible he told me something I never forgot. He said that the most important thing was to begin again. I wasn’t sure what this meant at first and I thought it was absurd. Begin again? What did that even mean? Was I supposed to start all over again or just pick up where I left off? I didn’t know, I still don’t know exactly what Father John meant but I have adapted his words to mean what I need them to. To me beginning again means getting over the fact that I let myself down and finding my inspiration again. I remind myself why I started running or writing and I start over. It doesn’t always work though, sometimes I wake up one day and I haven’t run in three weeks. Rather than beat myself up, I go back to my mantra and begin again. The important thing to me is that I don’t allow my dry spells get the best of me. Every passion project is important to me, this blog especially so there is no way I’m going to let myself allow however many dry spells I fall into, take it away from me.

I want to hear from you, dry spells are infuriating and disheartening. I don’t have a solution and I don’t know if there is one so how do you manage them?

Unapologetically,

Marie

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